Mid Sussex Times - Tuesday 19 July 1892.
At one time Cuckfield was part of the East Grinstead constituency for Parliament. This story may be considered non PC today - but it surely must still raise a smile:
During the recent election in the East Grinstead Division the inhabitant of each town and village where polling took place were naturally on the qui vive [Ed: on the lookout] to glean the latest intelligence and obtain the correct figure by which the favoured candidate was returned.
Amongst the number who tripped into this town on the day of the declaration of the poll was a buxom damsel apparently of some twenty-three summers, who gazed with much simplicity upon a placard which had been hung up in a resident's window. Having satisfied herself as to the result, she walked away and entered a tradesman's shop to obtain some goods.
She exclaimed to that worthy: 'So Major Ity has got in !' The tradesman intelligently understanding her remark answered … 'Yes.' The simple-minded young damsel flitted away quite as much enlightened as when she first scanned the placard, for she had evidently read the last line 'Majority' and misconstrued it into that fortunate candidate, whoever he might be, 'Major Ity!'
OK- yes we know, it's not great - but this joke is nearly 130 years old!